So many things seem to be happening at once. This time, it isn't to me. I have my small things to sweat. The job. Money. Health...but really, nothing that compares to what my friends, MY FAMILY, are going through. They are my heroes right now. Never really asking for much more than an ear. Never really doing more than sharing what is going on in their lives. I am continually amazed at their endurance, their beauty, their strength. I am proud of you. I am glad to be your friend. Not each day will be the day you say, COME AND GET ME. Not each day will be the day you say, I'M FINE. Today might be the day you cry, hit, spit, shout...do it...try it out. I'm always here. I want to hold you...you are just too far away....
I love you mucho.
Switchfoot ~ 'Dare you to Move'
Welcome to the planet
Welcome to existence
Everyone's here
Everyone's here
Everybody's watching you now
Everybody waits for you now
What happens next
What happens next
[Chorus]
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened before
Welcome to the fallout
Welcome to resistance
The tension is here
Tension is here
Between who you are and who you could be
Between how it is and how it should be
[Chorus]
Maybe redemption has stories to tell
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell
Where can you run to escape from yourself?
Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna go?
Salvation is here
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened
Today never happened
Today never happened before
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Slow Jams....
Up until 6 years ago I only had one "love of my life". Most of my friends, if asked, could name him, if they knew me well enough. I'm lucky to have another love of my life now...my son. Lucky. Very lucky.
The other night Chris asked me what my favorite slow jams were...suddenly thoughts of the 80's and Club Mario's popped in my head and i was....blank....totally blank. I said...uh uh...top 40??? For real, I don't know. How sad is that? To not have songs that make you think of someone...or at least getting busy...(ya for real what is that??? I know, I know, but this is where you learn that I've forsworn dating...and am enamored of the triple period...)
So I got to thinking...and listening to the radio...see here enters the top 40 and the triple periods...and I found a couple that I liked...and started thinking of the loves of my life. They don't really work for the SIC, he is much too young. But they do work for the other, and the times I called him after a night out, the morning after, when he came over to my apartment on the weekends, or when I called him after I saw My Best Friends Wedding in the movie theatres for the first time and was shocked to the core because it was the first time it had occurred to me that he might marry someone other than me...it happens.
Young Love...cute.
Lady Antebellum " Need You Now "
Picture perfect memories, scattered all around the floor.
Reaching for the phone cause, I can't fight it any more.
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind.
For me it happens all the time.
It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now.
I said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now.
And I don't know how I can do without, I just need you now.
Another shot of whiskey, can't stop looking at the door.
Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before.
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind.
For me it happens all the time.
It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now.
I said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now.
And I don't know how I can do without, I just need you now.
I guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all.
It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now.
And I said I wouldn't call, but I'm a little drunk and I need you now.
And I don't know how I can do without, I just need you now.
I just need you now.
Oh baby I need you now.
"The Only Exception" ~ paramore
When I was younger I saw my daddy cry
and curse at the wind.
He broke his own heart and I watched
as he tried to reassemble it.
And my momma swore
that she would never let herself forget.
And that was the day that I promised
I'd never sing of love if it does not exist.
But darling,
You are the only exception.
You are the only exception.
You are the only exception.
You are the only exception.
Maybe I know somewhere
deep in my soul
that love never lasts.
And we've got to find other ways
to make it alone.
Or keep a straight face.
And I've always lived like this
keeping a comfortable distance.
And up until now I've sworn to myself
that I'm content with loneliness.
Because none of it was ever worth the risk.
Well you are the only exception.
You are the only exception.
You are the only exception.
You are the only exception.
You are the only exception.
I've got a tight grip on reality,
but I can't let go of what's in front of me here.
I know you're leaving in the morning
when you wake up.
Leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream.
You are the only exception. [x4]
You are the only exception. [x4]
And I'm on my way to believing.
Oh, and I'm on my way to believing.
No imbedding for this video, but it links up to YouTube...because I like it.
The other night Chris asked me what my favorite slow jams were...suddenly thoughts of the 80's and Club Mario's popped in my head and i was....blank....totally blank. I said...uh uh...top 40??? For real, I don't know. How sad is that? To not have songs that make you think of someone...or at least getting busy...(ya for real what is that??? I know, I know, but this is where you learn that I've forsworn dating...and am enamored of the triple period...)
So I got to thinking...and listening to the radio...see here enters the top 40 and the triple periods...and I found a couple that I liked...and started thinking of the loves of my life. They don't really work for the SIC, he is much too young. But they do work for the other, and the times I called him after a night out, the morning after, when he came over to my apartment on the weekends, or when I called him after I saw My Best Friends Wedding in the movie theatres for the first time and was shocked to the core because it was the first time it had occurred to me that he might marry someone other than me...it happens.
Young Love...cute.
Lady Antebellum " Need You Now "
Picture perfect memories, scattered all around the floor.
Reaching for the phone cause, I can't fight it any more.
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind.
For me it happens all the time.
It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now.
I said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now.
And I don't know how I can do without, I just need you now.
Another shot of whiskey, can't stop looking at the door.
Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before.
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind.
For me it happens all the time.
It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now.
I said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now.
And I don't know how I can do without, I just need you now.
I guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all.
It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now.
And I said I wouldn't call, but I'm a little drunk and I need you now.
And I don't know how I can do without, I just need you now.
I just need you now.
Oh baby I need you now.
"The Only Exception" ~ paramore
When I was younger I saw my daddy cry
and curse at the wind.
He broke his own heart and I watched
as he tried to reassemble it.
And my momma swore
that she would never let herself forget.
And that was the day that I promised
I'd never sing of love if it does not exist.
But darling,
You are the only exception.
You are the only exception.
You are the only exception.
You are the only exception.
Maybe I know somewhere
deep in my soul
that love never lasts.
And we've got to find other ways
to make it alone.
Or keep a straight face.
And I've always lived like this
keeping a comfortable distance.
And up until now I've sworn to myself
that I'm content with loneliness.
Because none of it was ever worth the risk.
Well you are the only exception.
You are the only exception.
You are the only exception.
You are the only exception.
You are the only exception.
I've got a tight grip on reality,
but I can't let go of what's in front of me here.
I know you're leaving in the morning
when you wake up.
Leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream.
You are the only exception. [x4]
You are the only exception. [x4]
And I'm on my way to believing.
Oh, and I'm on my way to believing.
No imbedding for this video, but it links up to YouTube...because I like it.
Monday, October 4, 2010
Yes I'm sick...and MC Hammer came to my rescue.
I know when I'm sick, especially in the mornings, I feel like I could lay in bed forever. That work, is an impossible feat. No way can I make it through the day, with or without decongestant....there is no way. Today, HAPPY MONDAY that it was, I had something to look forward to...picking up the Buzz after school...because he had been overnight at his dad's. So, I needed to pick myself up, get through the day so I could see that little face at the end of my dimly lit tunnel! And boy what a treat he had for me...a little MC Hammer...ya..that's right...go Hammer...
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Just the facts Ma'am.
Say what you mean, mean what you say...life can be much easier this way, and you can be much happier. For real.
And she presses 'Release'....
Spill Canvas ~"All Over You"
Yeah he's a looker,
but I really think it's guts that matter most.
I displayed them for you,
strewn out about from coast to coast.
I am easily make believe,
just dress me up in what you want me to be.
I'll take back what I've been saying for quite some time now.
I gotta feel you in my bones again,
I'm all over you.
I'm not over you.
I wanna taste you one more time again,
I'm all over you.
I'm not over you.
In my daydreams, in my sleep,
infatuation turning into disease.
You could cure me, see all you have to do now
is please try.
Give it your best shot and try.
All I'm asking for is love,
but you never seem to have enough.
I gotta feel you in my bones again,
I'm all over you.
I'm not over you.
I wanna taste you one more time again,
I'm all over you.
I'm not over you.
This life is way too short
to get caught up in all this stuff
when I just want you to love me back,
why can't you just love me back?
Why can't you just love me back?
(why can't you, why can't you)
Why can't you just love me back?
(why can't you, why can't you)
Why can't you just love me back?
(why can't you, why can't you just love)
I gotta feel you in my bones again,
I'm all over you.
I'm not over you.
I wanna taste you one more time again,
I'm all over you.
I'm not over you.
This life is way too short
to get caught up and all mixed up
when I just want you to love me back,
why can't you just love me back?
Why won't you just love me back?
Why can't you just love me back?
Katy Perry ~ " Hot n Cold "
You change your mind, like a girl changes clothes
yeah you PMS like a chick I would know
and you over think, always speak critically
I should know that you're no good for me
'Cause you're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in then you're out
You're up then you're down
You're wrong when it's right
It's black and it's white
We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up
(You) You don't really wanna stay, no
(You) you don't really wanna go-oh
'Cause you're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in then you're out
You're up then you're down
We used to be just like twins, so in sync
The same energy now's a dead battery
Used to laugh, 'bout nothing
Now you're plain boring
I should know that you're not gonna change
'Cause you're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in then you're out
You're up then you're down
You're wrong when it's right
It's black and it's white
We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up
(You) You don't really wanna stay, no
(You) you don't really wanna go-oh
'Cause you're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in then you're out
You're up then you're down
Someone call the doctor
Got a case of a love bipolar
Stuck on a roller coaster
Can't get off this ride
You change your mind, like a girl changes clothes
'Cause you're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in then you're out
You're up then you're down
You're wrong when it's right
It's black and it's white
We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up
You're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in then you're out
You're up then you're down
You're wrong when it's right
It's black and it's white
We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up
(You) You don't really wanna stay, no
(You) you don't really wanna go-oh
'Cause you're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in then you're out
You're up then you're down
And she presses 'Release'....
Spill Canvas ~"All Over You"
Yeah he's a looker,
but I really think it's guts that matter most.
I displayed them for you,
strewn out about from coast to coast.
I am easily make believe,
just dress me up in what you want me to be.
I'll take back what I've been saying for quite some time now.
I gotta feel you in my bones again,
I'm all over you.
I'm not over you.
I wanna taste you one more time again,
I'm all over you.
I'm not over you.
In my daydreams, in my sleep,
infatuation turning into disease.
You could cure me, see all you have to do now
is please try.
Give it your best shot and try.
All I'm asking for is love,
but you never seem to have enough.
I gotta feel you in my bones again,
I'm all over you.
I'm not over you.
I wanna taste you one more time again,
I'm all over you.
I'm not over you.
This life is way too short
to get caught up in all this stuff
when I just want you to love me back,
why can't you just love me back?
Why can't you just love me back?
(why can't you, why can't you)
Why can't you just love me back?
(why can't you, why can't you)
Why can't you just love me back?
(why can't you, why can't you just love)
I gotta feel you in my bones again,
I'm all over you.
I'm not over you.
I wanna taste you one more time again,
I'm all over you.
I'm not over you.
This life is way too short
to get caught up and all mixed up
when I just want you to love me back,
why can't you just love me back?
Why won't you just love me back?
Why can't you just love me back?
Katy Perry ~ " Hot n Cold "
You change your mind, like a girl changes clothes
yeah you PMS like a chick I would know
and you over think, always speak critically
I should know that you're no good for me
'Cause you're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in then you're out
You're up then you're down
You're wrong when it's right
It's black and it's white
We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up
(You) You don't really wanna stay, no
(You) you don't really wanna go-oh
'Cause you're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in then you're out
You're up then you're down
We used to be just like twins, so in sync
The same energy now's a dead battery
Used to laugh, 'bout nothing
Now you're plain boring
I should know that you're not gonna change
'Cause you're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in then you're out
You're up then you're down
You're wrong when it's right
It's black and it's white
We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up
(You) You don't really wanna stay, no
(You) you don't really wanna go-oh
'Cause you're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in then you're out
You're up then you're down
Someone call the doctor
Got a case of a love bipolar
Stuck on a roller coaster
Can't get off this ride
You change your mind, like a girl changes clothes
'Cause you're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in then you're out
You're up then you're down
You're wrong when it's right
It's black and it's white
We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up
You're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in then you're out
You're up then you're down
You're wrong when it's right
It's black and it's white
We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up
(You) You don't really wanna stay, no
(You) you don't really wanna go-oh
'Cause you're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in then you're out
You're up then you're down
Saturday, September 11, 2010
The best of Summers...love, laughs, friends, and family.
This summer I took a huge leap. I made decisions for myself. Doesn't seem big, right? Don't people do that all the time? You pick your food, your clothes, where you go, what you do...well I haven't, not for years. Not until this summer. This was HUGE for me, and I did it with a little help from my friends, my new Teenie family. Luv Luv Luv them. Cry when I leave them. Every time. They took me and the SIC in. Love us like one of their own, unconditionally...and I KNOW this. I don't have to worry, or think about it, I KNOW this...rare and beautiful is what it is. Still makes me cry. And I hate crying...so as she would say....LUBYA.
Neon Trees ~ Animal
Here we go again
I kinda wanna be more than friends
So take it easy on me
I'm afraid you're never satisfied.
Here we go again
we're sick like animals
we play pretend
you're just a cannibal
and I'm afraid I wont get out alive
no I won't sleep tonight.
Oh, oh
I want some more
Oh, oh
what are you waiting for?
Take a bite of my heart tonight.
Oh, oh
I want some more
Oh, oh
what are you waiting for?
what are you waiting for?
Say goodbye to my heart tonight.
Here we are again
I feel the chemicals kicking in
it's getting heavier
I wanna run and hide
I wanna run and hide.
I do it every time
you're killing me now
and I won't be denied by you
the animal inside of you.
Oh, oh
I want some more
Oh, oh
what are you waiting for?
Take a bite of my heart tonight.
Oh, oh
I want some more
Oh, oh
what are you waiting for?
what are you waiting for?
Say goodbye to my heart tonight.
Hush hush the world is quiet
hush hush we both can't fight it
It's us that made this mess
why can't you understand?
Woah I won't sleep tonight.
I won't sleep tonight.
Here we go again
Oh, oh
I want some more
Oh, oh
what are you waiting for?
Take a bite of my heart tonight.
Oh, oh
I want some more
Oh, oh
what are you waiting for?
what are you waiting for?
Say goodbye to my heart tonight…
Buzz singing this at the top of his lungs...dancing with the kids after school...he pretty much knows every word...this will always remind me of him...
Train ~ Hey Soul Sister
I am fairly certain that everytime we got into Tina's car this summer this song was playing...I am not quite sure if I even like it...I think it freaks me out, just a lil bit...
The XX's ~ Crystallised
It was a great summer.
Neon Trees ~ Animal
Here we go again
I kinda wanna be more than friends
So take it easy on me
I'm afraid you're never satisfied.
Here we go again
we're sick like animals
we play pretend
you're just a cannibal
and I'm afraid I wont get out alive
no I won't sleep tonight.
Oh, oh
I want some more
Oh, oh
what are you waiting for?
Take a bite of my heart tonight.
Oh, oh
I want some more
Oh, oh
what are you waiting for?
what are you waiting for?
Say goodbye to my heart tonight.
Here we are again
I feel the chemicals kicking in
it's getting heavier
I wanna run and hide
I wanna run and hide.
I do it every time
you're killing me now
and I won't be denied by you
the animal inside of you.
Oh, oh
I want some more
Oh, oh
what are you waiting for?
Take a bite of my heart tonight.
Oh, oh
I want some more
Oh, oh
what are you waiting for?
what are you waiting for?
Say goodbye to my heart tonight.
Hush hush the world is quiet
hush hush we both can't fight it
It's us that made this mess
why can't you understand?
Woah I won't sleep tonight.
I won't sleep tonight.
Here we go again
Oh, oh
I want some more
Oh, oh
what are you waiting for?
Take a bite of my heart tonight.
Oh, oh
I want some more
Oh, oh
what are you waiting for?
what are you waiting for?
Say goodbye to my heart tonight…
Buzz singing this at the top of his lungs...dancing with the kids after school...he pretty much knows every word...this will always remind me of him...
Train ~ Hey Soul Sister
I am fairly certain that everytime we got into Tina's car this summer this song was playing...I am not quite sure if I even like it...I think it freaks me out, just a lil bit...
The XX's ~ Crystallised
It was a great summer.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Simple things, simple life, simple me...
I guess the little things can get you caught up sometimes, overwhelm you, overshadow your goals and what you are trying to achieve. I have been letting this happen more often than not. But as previously stated, I'm taking it back...I'm learning to love my Mondays, baby step 1, baby step 2...learning to let go. Learning to let go of the SIC...my Second in Command. This weekend will be his first ever sleep over. He got a phone call this evening, from his best friend from his former school. I have NEVER seen him so excited about anything, I don't even think CHRISTMAS got him this excited. He has never spent the night over at someone's house, nor has he asked me to do this and gone through with it. BABY STEPS. We will do it together. Simply put...Life is sweet. We will do it together, and MAN, are we having FUN!
I DON'T WANT TO BE ~ GAVIN DEGRAW
I don't need to be anything other
Than a prison guard's son
I don't need to be anything other
Than a specialist's son
I don't have to be anyone other
Than the birth of two souls in one
Part of where I'm going, is knowing where I'm coming from
[Chorus:]
I don't want to be
Anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do
Is think of me and I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms
Wondering what I've got to do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me
I'm surrounded by liars everywhere I turn
I'm surrounded by imposters everywhere I turn
I'm surrounded by identity crisis everywhere I turn
Am I the only one who noticed?
I can't be the only one who's learned!
[Chorus]
Can I have everyone's attention please?
If you're not like this and that, you're gonna have to leave
I came from the mountain
The crust of creation
My whole situation-made from clay to stone
And now I'm telling everybody
[Chorus]
I don't want to be
I don't want to be
I don't want to be
I don't want to be
I DON'T WANT TO BE ~ GAVIN DEGRAW
I don't need to be anything other
Than a prison guard's son
I don't need to be anything other
Than a specialist's son
I don't have to be anyone other
Than the birth of two souls in one
Part of where I'm going, is knowing where I'm coming from
[Chorus:]
I don't want to be
Anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do
Is think of me and I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms
Wondering what I've got to do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me
I'm surrounded by liars everywhere I turn
I'm surrounded by imposters everywhere I turn
I'm surrounded by identity crisis everywhere I turn
Am I the only one who noticed?
I can't be the only one who's learned!
[Chorus]
Can I have everyone's attention please?
If you're not like this and that, you're gonna have to leave
I came from the mountain
The crust of creation
My whole situation-made from clay to stone
And now I'm telling everybody
[Chorus]
I don't want to be
I don't want to be
I don't want to be
I don't want to be
Saturday, September 4, 2010
End of Summer....Beginning of Fall...
I enjoy the changing of seasons...the never really knowing how the weather is going to be the next day, anticipating the crisp air in the morning and constantly waking up in the dark. But more than that, I love the fact that the kids are back to school and the streets (and Stores) can now belong to the adults once again. I enjoy the peace...at least while it lasts.
Songs I love to sing out loud:
Linkin Park ~ Crawling
Crawling in my skin
These wounds they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real
There's something inside me
That pulls beneath the surface
Consuming, confusing
This lack of self control I fear
Is never ending, controlling
I can't seem to find myself again
My walls are closing in
(Without a sense of confidence)
(I'm convinced that there's)
(Just too much pressure to take)
I've felt this way before so insecure
Crawling in my skin
These wounds they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real
Discomfort, endlessly has pulled
Itself upon me distracting, reacting
Against my will I stand beside my own reflection
It's haunting how I can't seem
To find myself again
My walls are closing in
(Without a sense of confidence)
(I'm convinced that there's)
(Just too much pressure to take)
I've felt this way before so insecure
Crawling in my skin
These wounds they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real
Crawling in my skin
These wounds they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing, confusing what is real
There's something inside me
That pulls beneath the surface
Consuming
(Confusing what is real)
This lack of self control I fear
Is never ending, controlling
(Confusing what is real)
Linkin Park ~ From the Inside
I don't know who to trust, no surprise
Everyone feels so far away from me
Heavy thoughts sift through dust and the lies
Trying not to break
But I'm so tired of this deceit
Every time I try to make myself
Get back up on my feet
All I ever think about is this
All the tiring time between
And how trying to put my trust in you
Just takes so much out of me
Take everything from the inside
And throw it all away
'Cause I swear for the last time
I won't trust myself with you
Tension is building inside, steadily
Everyone feels so far away from me
Heavy thoughts forcing their way out of me
Trying not to break
But I'm so tired of this deceit
Every time I try to make myself
Get back up on my feet
All I ever think about is this
All the tiring time between
And how trying to put my trust in you
Just takes so much out of me
Take everything from the inside
And throw it all away
'Cause I swear for the last time
I won't trust myself with you
I won't waste myself on you
You, you
Waste myself on you
You, you
I'll take everything from the inside
And throw it all away
'Cause I swear for the last time
I won't trust myself with you
Everything from the inside
And just throw it all away
'Cause I swear for the last time
I won't trust myself with you
You, you
Songs I love to sing out loud:
Linkin Park ~ Crawling
Crawling in my skin
These wounds they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real
There's something inside me
That pulls beneath the surface
Consuming, confusing
This lack of self control I fear
Is never ending, controlling
I can't seem to find myself again
My walls are closing in
(Without a sense of confidence)
(I'm convinced that there's)
(Just too much pressure to take)
I've felt this way before so insecure
Crawling in my skin
These wounds they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real
Discomfort, endlessly has pulled
Itself upon me distracting, reacting
Against my will I stand beside my own reflection
It's haunting how I can't seem
To find myself again
My walls are closing in
(Without a sense of confidence)
(I'm convinced that there's)
(Just too much pressure to take)
I've felt this way before so insecure
Crawling in my skin
These wounds they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real
Crawling in my skin
These wounds they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing, confusing what is real
There's something inside me
That pulls beneath the surface
Consuming
(Confusing what is real)
This lack of self control I fear
Is never ending, controlling
(Confusing what is real)
Linkin Park ~ From the Inside
I don't know who to trust, no surprise
Everyone feels so far away from me
Heavy thoughts sift through dust and the lies
Trying not to break
But I'm so tired of this deceit
Every time I try to make myself
Get back up on my feet
All I ever think about is this
All the tiring time between
And how trying to put my trust in you
Just takes so much out of me
Take everything from the inside
And throw it all away
'Cause I swear for the last time
I won't trust myself with you
Tension is building inside, steadily
Everyone feels so far away from me
Heavy thoughts forcing their way out of me
Trying not to break
But I'm so tired of this deceit
Every time I try to make myself
Get back up on my feet
All I ever think about is this
All the tiring time between
And how trying to put my trust in you
Just takes so much out of me
Take everything from the inside
And throw it all away
'Cause I swear for the last time
I won't trust myself with you
I won't waste myself on you
You, you
Waste myself on you
You, you
I'll take everything from the inside
And throw it all away
'Cause I swear for the last time
I won't trust myself with you
Everything from the inside
And just throw it all away
'Cause I swear for the last time
I won't trust myself with you
You, you
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
I was a Coug....at the Coug...and yes there was beer...
I can't think of how many nights I sat with the girls at the Coug and sang these songs. At the top of our lungs. The Juke Box there held some of my favorite songs...SERIOUSLY!!! I remember if it hadn't been for Erin, I would never have experienced Blues Traveler at RED ROCK!!!! Incidently, the same goes for knowing most of the words to a lot of Indigo Girls and Neil Diamond songs...ya...it happens. I know that just this year Andy called me because he heard one of our songs on the radio...and we just sat over the phone for a few minutes and listened! I remember driving from Spokane to Pullman and back again so many times in Jen Mersh's Toyota listening to Sarah McLachlan. Memories...and Music...I love them. I love my friends...and the beautiful bands they have all shared with me.
Blues Traveler....Hook
Van Morrison...Moondance
George Baker Selection...Little Green Bag
(This is possibly the most hilarious thing I have seen in a long time...)
Blues Traveler....Hook
Van Morrison...Moondance
George Baker Selection...Little Green Bag
(This is possibly the most hilarious thing I have seen in a long time...)
Monday, August 30, 2010
Learning to love Mondays...Time will tell...
My least favorite day of the week is Monday. I wake up and think to myself, where did my weekend go, and why is it another 5 days until another one comes around. Along these lines, I have also been thinking that I need a change, a major overhaul...life has somewhat stopped in my sector of this small little planet and I need it to get to moving. I just can't live my life like this anymore. So, I'm trying something new. I'm learning to love Mondays. Why not? Only time will tell...
Incubus
WARNING
Bat your eyes girl, be otherworldly.
Count your blessings. Seduce a stranger.
What's so wrong with being happy?
Kudos to those who see through sickness. (yeah)
Over and over and over and over and ooh...
She woke in the morning.
She knew that her life had passed her by
And she called out a warning:
"Don't ever let life pass you by!"
I suggest we learn to love
ourselves before it's made illegal.
When will we learn? (When will we learn?)
When will we change? (When will we change?)
Just in time to see it all come down.
Those left standing will make millions
writing books on the way it should have been.
When she woke in the morning,
she knew that her life had passed her by
And she called out a warning (warning):
"Don't ever let life pass you by!"
Floating in this cosmic Jacuzzi,
we are like frogs oblivious
to the water starting to boil.
No one flinches. We all float face down.
She woke in the morning.
She knew that her life had passed her by
And she called out a warning,
"Don't ever let life pass you by...
pass you by..."
WISH YOU WERE HERE
I dig my toes into the sand
The ocean looks like
A thousand diamonds strewn
Across a blue blanket
I lean against the wind
Pretend I am weightless
And in this moment
I am happy happy
I wish you were here
I wish you were here
I wish you were here
I wish you were here
I lay my head onto the sand
The sky resembles
A backlit canopy
With holes punched in it
I'm counting UFOs
I signal them with my lighter
And in this moment
I am happy happy
I wish you were here
I wish you were here
I wish you were here
I wish you were here
The world's a roller coaster
And I am not strapped in
Maybe I should hold with care
My hands are busy in the air
Saying
I wish you were here
I wish you were here
I wish you were here
Incubus
WARNING
Bat your eyes girl, be otherworldly.
Count your blessings. Seduce a stranger.
What's so wrong with being happy?
Kudos to those who see through sickness. (yeah)
Over and over and over and over and ooh...
She woke in the morning.
She knew that her life had passed her by
And she called out a warning:
"Don't ever let life pass you by!"
I suggest we learn to love
ourselves before it's made illegal.
When will we learn? (When will we learn?)
When will we change? (When will we change?)
Just in time to see it all come down.
Those left standing will make millions
writing books on the way it should have been.
When she woke in the morning,
she knew that her life had passed her by
And she called out a warning (warning):
"Don't ever let life pass you by!"
Floating in this cosmic Jacuzzi,
we are like frogs oblivious
to the water starting to boil.
No one flinches. We all float face down.
She woke in the morning.
She knew that her life had passed her by
And she called out a warning,
"Don't ever let life pass you by...
pass you by..."
WISH YOU WERE HERE
I dig my toes into the sand
The ocean looks like
A thousand diamonds strewn
Across a blue blanket
I lean against the wind
Pretend I am weightless
And in this moment
I am happy happy
I wish you were here
I wish you were here
I wish you were here
I wish you were here
I lay my head onto the sand
The sky resembles
A backlit canopy
With holes punched in it
I'm counting UFOs
I signal them with my lighter
And in this moment
I am happy happy
I wish you were here
I wish you were here
I wish you were here
I wish you were here
The world's a roller coaster
And I am not strapped in
Maybe I should hold with care
My hands are busy in the air
Saying
I wish you were here
I wish you were here
I wish you were here
I wish you were here
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Saturday is on my mind....I love weekends to remember...
There is nothing more precious than spending time with friends and reminiscing over old times....it is even better when there is plenty of laughter involved...mix in some alcohol, a few drunk elderly men, and a weird beat up guy named DAVE and face it...you just can't beat it with a stick.
If I had to choose the sound track of the weekend it would have consisted of Dr. Dre, Ice Cube, and LL Cool J...no joke, that is what we heard at the Globe both nights...so instead, I'm including some Breaking Benjamin....1. because, YES, Benjamin Burnley is kinda hot...2. Halo! 3. I was in the mood! : )
"Blow Me Away"
[Verse 1:]
They fall in line
One at a time
Ready to play
(I can't see them anyway)
No time to lose
We've got to move
Steady your helm
(I am losing sight again)
[Bridge:]
Fire your guns
It's time to run
Blow me away
(I will stay, in the mess I made)
After the fall
We'll shake it off
Show me the way
[Chorus:]
Only the strongest will survive
Lead me to heaven, when we die
I am the shadow on the wall
I'll be the one to save us all
[Verse 2:]
There's nothing left
So save your breath
Lying in wait
(Caught inside this tidal wave)
Your cover's blown
No where to go
Holding your fate
(Loaded I will walk alone)
[Bridge:]
Fire your guns
It's time to run
Blow me away
(I will stay, in the mess I made)
After the fall
We'll shake it off
Show me the way
[Chorus:]
Only the strongest will survive
Lead me to heaven, when we die
I am the shadow on the wall
I'll be the one to save us all
Wanted it back
(Don't fight me now)
[Chorus]
"Breath"
I see nothing in your eyes, and the more I see the less I like.
Is it over yet, in my head?
I know nothing of your kind, and I won't reveal your evil mind.
Is it over yet? I can't win.
So sacrifice yourself, and let me have what's left.
I know that I can find the fire in your eyes.
I'm going all the way, get away, please.
[Chorus:]
You take the breath right out of me.
You left a hole where my heart should be.
You got to fight just to make it through,
'cause I will be the death of you.
This will be all over soon.
Pour salt into the open wound.
Is it over yet? Let me in.
So sacrifice yourself, and let me have what's left.
I know that I can find the fire in your eyes.
I'm going all the way, get away, please.
[Chorus:]
You take the breath right out of me.
You left a hole where my heart should be.
You got to fight just to make it through,
'cause I will be the death of you.
I'm waiting, I'm praying, realize, start hating.
[Chorus:]
You take the breath right out of me.
You left a hole where my heart should be.
You got to fight just to make it through,
'cause I will be the death of you.
If I had to choose the sound track of the weekend it would have consisted of Dr. Dre, Ice Cube, and LL Cool J...no joke, that is what we heard at the Globe both nights...so instead, I'm including some Breaking Benjamin....1. because, YES, Benjamin Burnley is kinda hot...2. Halo! 3. I was in the mood! : )
"Blow Me Away"
[Verse 1:]
They fall in line
One at a time
Ready to play
(I can't see them anyway)
No time to lose
We've got to move
Steady your helm
(I am losing sight again)
[Bridge:]
Fire your guns
It's time to run
Blow me away
(I will stay, in the mess I made)
After the fall
We'll shake it off
Show me the way
[Chorus:]
Only the strongest will survive
Lead me to heaven, when we die
I am the shadow on the wall
I'll be the one to save us all
[Verse 2:]
There's nothing left
So save your breath
Lying in wait
(Caught inside this tidal wave)
Your cover's blown
No where to go
Holding your fate
(Loaded I will walk alone)
[Bridge:]
Fire your guns
It's time to run
Blow me away
(I will stay, in the mess I made)
After the fall
We'll shake it off
Show me the way
[Chorus:]
Only the strongest will survive
Lead me to heaven, when we die
I am the shadow on the wall
I'll be the one to save us all
Wanted it back
(Don't fight me now)
[Chorus]
"Breath"
I see nothing in your eyes, and the more I see the less I like.
Is it over yet, in my head?
I know nothing of your kind, and I won't reveal your evil mind.
Is it over yet? I can't win.
So sacrifice yourself, and let me have what's left.
I know that I can find the fire in your eyes.
I'm going all the way, get away, please.
[Chorus:]
You take the breath right out of me.
You left a hole where my heart should be.
You got to fight just to make it through,
'cause I will be the death of you.
This will be all over soon.
Pour salt into the open wound.
Is it over yet? Let me in.
So sacrifice yourself, and let me have what's left.
I know that I can find the fire in your eyes.
I'm going all the way, get away, please.
[Chorus:]
You take the breath right out of me.
You left a hole where my heart should be.
You got to fight just to make it through,
'cause I will be the death of you.
I'm waiting, I'm praying, realize, start hating.
[Chorus:]
You take the breath right out of me.
You left a hole where my heart should be.
You got to fight just to make it through,
'cause I will be the death of you.
Friday, August 27, 2010
The One that got away.
I watched her grow up from the age of three. Amazing how time flies. I was just her step-mother. Not that we got along much, not in the beginning, but as time went by, she was mine. I loved her more than I could tell her, and I hope she knows and remembers. She cared about Buzz for the time she was around, and he called her Sissy...this was her band, and these songs remind me of her whenever I hear them, and Buzz knows all the words...fortunately or unfortunately, however I want to look at it. I miss her, but I'll never say that out loud. Here is Panic At The Disco....
NINE IN THE AFTERNOON
Back to the street where we began
Feeling as good as lovers can you know
Yeah we're feeling so good
Pickin' up things we shouldn't read
Looks like the end of history as we know
It's just the end of the world
Back to the street where we began
Feeling as good as love you could you can
Into a place where thoughts can bloom
Into a room where it's nine in the afternoon
And we know that it could be
And we know that it should
And you know that you feel it too
Cause it's nine in the afternoon
And your eyes are the size of the moon
You could cause you can so you do
We're feeling so good
Just the way that we do
When it's nine in the afternoon
Your eyes are the size of the moon
You could cause you can so you do
We're feeling so good
Back to the street
Down to our feet
Losing the feeling of feeling unique
Do you know what I mean?
Back to the place
Where we used to say
Man it feels good to feel this way
Now I know what I mean
Back to the street
Back to the place
Back to the room where it all began hey
Back to the room where it all began
Cause it's nine in the afternoon
Your eyes are the size of the moon
You could cause you can so you do
We're feeling so good
Just the way that we do
When it's nine in the afternoon
Your eyes are the size of the moon
You could cause you can so you do
We're feeling so good
Just the way that we do
When it's nine in the afternoon
Your eyes are the size of the moon
You could cause you can so you do
We're feeling so good
Just the way that we do
When it's nine in the afternoon
I WRITE SINS NOT TRAGEDIES
Oh well imagine
As I'm pacing the pews in a church corridor
And I can't help but to hear
No I can't help but to hear an exchanging of words
"What a beautiful wedding
What a beautiful wedding" says a bridesmaid to a waiter
"And yes but what a shame
What a shame the poor groom's bride is a whore."
I chime in with a
"Haven't you people ever heard of closing a damn door?"
No it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality
I chime in
"Haven't you people ever heard of closing a damn door?"
No it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of
Oh well in fact
Well I'll look at it this way
I mean technically our marriage is saved
Well this calls for a toast
So pour the champagne
Oh well in fact
Well I'll look at it this way
I mean technically our marriage is saved
Well this calls for a toast
So pour the champagne pour the champagne
I chime in with a
"Haven't you people ever heard of closing a damn door?"
No it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality
I chime in
"Haven't you people ever heard of closing a damn door?"
No it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality
Again
I chime in
"Haven't you people ever heard of closing a damn door?"
No it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality
I chime in
"Haven't you people ever heard of closing a damn door?"
No it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality
Again
NINE IN THE AFTERNOON
Back to the street where we began
Feeling as good as lovers can you know
Yeah we're feeling so good
Pickin' up things we shouldn't read
Looks like the end of history as we know
It's just the end of the world
Back to the street where we began
Feeling as good as love you could you can
Into a place where thoughts can bloom
Into a room where it's nine in the afternoon
And we know that it could be
And we know that it should
And you know that you feel it too
Cause it's nine in the afternoon
And your eyes are the size of the moon
You could cause you can so you do
We're feeling so good
Just the way that we do
When it's nine in the afternoon
Your eyes are the size of the moon
You could cause you can so you do
We're feeling so good
Back to the street
Down to our feet
Losing the feeling of feeling unique
Do you know what I mean?
Back to the place
Where we used to say
Man it feels good to feel this way
Now I know what I mean
Back to the street
Back to the place
Back to the room where it all began hey
Back to the room where it all began
Cause it's nine in the afternoon
Your eyes are the size of the moon
You could cause you can so you do
We're feeling so good
Just the way that we do
When it's nine in the afternoon
Your eyes are the size of the moon
You could cause you can so you do
We're feeling so good
Just the way that we do
When it's nine in the afternoon
Your eyes are the size of the moon
You could cause you can so you do
We're feeling so good
Just the way that we do
When it's nine in the afternoon
I WRITE SINS NOT TRAGEDIES
Oh well imagine
As I'm pacing the pews in a church corridor
And I can't help but to hear
No I can't help but to hear an exchanging of words
"What a beautiful wedding
What a beautiful wedding" says a bridesmaid to a waiter
"And yes but what a shame
What a shame the poor groom's bride is a whore."
I chime in with a
"Haven't you people ever heard of closing a damn door?"
No it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality
I chime in
"Haven't you people ever heard of closing a damn door?"
No it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of
Oh well in fact
Well I'll look at it this way
I mean technically our marriage is saved
Well this calls for a toast
So pour the champagne
Oh well in fact
Well I'll look at it this way
I mean technically our marriage is saved
Well this calls for a toast
So pour the champagne pour the champagne
I chime in with a
"Haven't you people ever heard of closing a damn door?"
No it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality
I chime in
"Haven't you people ever heard of closing a damn door?"
No it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality
Again
I chime in
"Haven't you people ever heard of closing a damn door?"
No it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality
I chime in
"Haven't you people ever heard of closing a damn door?"
No it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality
Again
Thursday, August 26, 2010
30 Seconds To Mars
Although, not my first love...we will get to them in time....I can't start my blog without a first look at my somewhat 'theme song' for the year 2009.
30 Seconds To Mars ~ The KILL
What if I wanted to break
Laugh it all off in your face
What would you do?
What if I fell to the floor
Couldn't take all this anymore
What would you do, do, do?
Come break me down
Bury me, bury me
I am finished with you
What if I wanted to fight
Beg for the rest of my life
What would you do?
You say you wanted more
What are you waiting for?
I'm not running from you
Come break me down
Marry me, bury me
I am finished with you
Look in my eyes
You're killing me, killing me
All I wanted was you
I tried to be someone else
But nothing seemed to change
I know now, this is who I really am inside
Finally found myself
Fighting for a chance
I know now, this is who I really am
Come break me down
Bury me, bury me
I am finished with you, you, you
Look in my eyes
You're killing me, killing me
All I wanted was you
Come, break me down
Break me down
Break me down
What if I wanted to break?
(You say you wanted more)
(What are you waiting for?)
(I'm not running from you)
What if I, what if I, bury me, bury me
30 Seconds To Mars ~ The KILL
What if I wanted to break
Laugh it all off in your face
What would you do?
What if I fell to the floor
Couldn't take all this anymore
What would you do, do, do?
Come break me down
Bury me, bury me
I am finished with you
What if I wanted to fight
Beg for the rest of my life
What would you do?
You say you wanted more
What are you waiting for?
I'm not running from you
Come break me down
Marry me, bury me
I am finished with you
Look in my eyes
You're killing me, killing me
All I wanted was you
I tried to be someone else
But nothing seemed to change
I know now, this is who I really am inside
Finally found myself
Fighting for a chance
I know now, this is who I really am
Come break me down
Bury me, bury me
I am finished with you, you, you
Look in my eyes
You're killing me, killing me
All I wanted was you
Come, break me down
Break me down
Break me down
What if I wanted to break?
(You say you wanted more)
(What are you waiting for?)
(I'm not running from you)
What if I, what if I, bury me, bury me
In The Beginning....
I have thought about doing this for quite some time...It started with Amy C. She has her Music Monday Blog that I read and it occurred to me...Why can't I do that. I'm not an eloquent or verbose person. I certainly can't do a regular blog...I am not a memory person. But I do find that music is a HUGE part of my day, and it does jump start just about every part of the little things that I do...like taking Buzz to school, walking to work, talking to friends, standing outside Riverpark Square, driving home, and having some down time...each portion of my day is usually accompanied by a song or two or six....
Sometimes I might post a line from a song on my Facebook, with no explanation. What most people won't know, but might assume, is that is a song I might have stuck in my head all day, it might even be my emotion at the time. Music is like a scratch-n-sniff sticker to me...not only can you hear it, you can feel it. I can breathe it in!!! Sometimes it makes me want to dance. It may make me want to laugh, or cry...or shout just a little bit. I LOVE Music...This is Music 4 My Minions...
Sometimes I might post a line from a song on my Facebook, with no explanation. What most people won't know, but might assume, is that is a song I might have stuck in my head all day, it might even be my emotion at the time. Music is like a scratch-n-sniff sticker to me...not only can you hear it, you can feel it. I can breathe it in!!! Sometimes it makes me want to dance. It may make me want to laugh, or cry...or shout just a little bit. I LOVE Music...This is Music 4 My Minions...
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