I'm finally fully alive

Trauma...feeling traumatized...I've been feeling a bit of that lately. Stepping out each day and wondering what will happen next, feeling a bit out of control and out of sorts with work, health, and weather.  After today's holiday, I've decided to say screw it. I'm too happy to stay all melancholy about what may be and what has been. Lately, I've noticed that either you ARE happy, or you don't WANT to be happy.  It is not the HAVEs or HAVE NOTs....change it, change what you want or change how you want to get what you want...achieve it...it can happen. Because, feeling a little bit of happiness creep in little by little is like not feeling it at all. Having it crash down around your head and heart, makes it pretty much evident that you aren't going to escape the tidal wave.  I think I may need to learn to surf, this is going to be a long and wonderful ride.

Flyleaf

"Fully Alive"
Telling Layla's story spoken
'Bout how all her bones are broken
Hammers fall on all the pieces
Two months in the cover creases


Fully alive
More than most
Ready to smile and love life
Fully alive and she knows
How to believe in futures


All my complaints shrink to nothing
I'm ashamed of all my somethings
She's glad for one day of comfort
Only because she has suffered


Fully alive
More than most
Ready to smile and love life
Fully alive and she knows
How to believe in futures


Fully alive
More than most
Ready to smile and love life
Fully alive and she knows
How to believe in futures


Fully alive
More than most
Ready to smile and love life
Fully alive and she knows
How to believe in futures

Opinions...

A really old joke, you can't have an opinion, I haven't given it to you yet...ok...ya so it goes something like that. But, because I do believe, along with everyone else, that the world revolves around me...because IT DOES. (I do not have ESP so as yet have no way of knowing what everyone else is thinking, so must therefore assume that I must only live my life....thus MY WORLD, people, at least Rucker gets it...he could be just humoring me.)  It is always fine to have an opinion...just don't try GIVING it to someone else. Share it. Explain it. Lovingly, always.


Five Finger Death Punch Hard To See

I'm growing so disturbed
Nothing makes sense to me anymore
I'm learning to resist
Becoming more than you ever were

Can't explain what's come over me, come over me
Can't explain why it's so hard for me, so hard to see your side

Projecting all my anger
I can't seem to get this through to you
The walls are closing in
I dare you to walk in my shoes

Can't explain what's come over me, come over me
Can't explain why it's so hard for me, so hard to see your side

Your side
I won't see your side

Can't explain what's come over me, come over me
Can't explain why it's so hard for me, so hard to see your side
Can't explain what's come over me, come over me
Can't explain why it's so hard for me, so hard to see your side

I won't see your side
Your side

Today Just Feels Good

I love you.

~One Republic~

"Secrets"

I need another story
Something to get off my chest
My life gets kinda boring
Need something that I can confess
'Til all my sleeves are stained red

From all the truth that I've said
Come by it honestly I swear
Thought you saw me wink, no
I've been on the brink, so

Tell me what you want to hear
Something that will light those ears
Sick of all the insincere
So I'm gonna give all my secrets away

This time, don't need another perfect lie
Don't care if critics ever jump in line
I'm gonna give all my secrets away

My God, amazing how we got this far
It's like we're chasing all those stars
Who's driving shiny big black cars
And everyday I see the news
All the problems that we could solve

And when a situation rises
Just write it into an album
Singing straight, too cold
I don't really like my flow, no, so

Tell me what you want to hear
Something that will light those ears
Sick of all the insincere
So I'm gonna give all my secrets away

This time, don't need another perfect lie
Don't care if critics ever jump in line
I'm gonna give all my secrets away

Oh, got no reason, got no shame
Got no family I can blame
Just don't let me disappear
I'ma tell you everything

So tell me what you want to hear
Something that will light those ears
Sick of all the insincere
So I'm gonna give all my secrets away

This time, don't need another perfect lie
Don't care if critics ever jump in line
I'm gonna give all my secrets away

So tell me what you want to hear
Something that will light those ears
Sick of all the insincere
So I'm gonna give all my secrets away

This time, don't need another perfect lie
Don't care if critics never jump in line
I'm gonna give all my secrets away
All my secrets away, all my secrets away

For those interested in the fun of a go show:







Official Music Video

~Panic at the Disco~

Nine in the Afternoon

Back to the street where we began
Feeling as good as lovers can, you know
Yeah we're feeling so good

Pickin’ up things we shouldn’t read
It looks like the end of history as we know
It’s just the end of the world

Back to the street where we began
Feeling as good as love, you could, you can

Into a place where thoughts can bloom
Into a room where it's nine in the afternoon
And we know that it could be
And we know that it should
And you know that you feel it too
'Cause it's nine in the afternoon

And your eyes are the size of the moon
You could 'cause you can so you do
We're feeling so good
just the way that we do
When it's nine in the afternoon

Your eyes are the size of the moon
You could 'cause you can so you do
We're feeling so good

Back to the street
Down to our feet
Losing the feeling of feeling unique
Do you know what I mean?

Back to the place
Where we used to say
Man it feels good to feel this way
Now I know what I mean

Back to the street, back to the place,
Back to the room where it all began, hey
Back to the room where it all began
'Cause it's nine in the afternoon

Your eyes are the size of the moon
You could 'cause you can so you do
We're feeling so good
Just the way that we do
When it's nine in the afternoon
[x3]