Engrossed in my own hoodle-doins...yes that is a word....I forget and forgive much easier. I overlook everyones propensity for drama and negativity, because ~ I am happy. It gives time to reflect on my own attitude over the last few years and makes me realize how easy it is to do. To be happy.
I also listen to a lot more music when I'm in this frame of mind. The music that I used to go to when I was angry,or mad, or depressed, now doesn't hold the same affect. I can sing and shout it at the top of my lungs and it's just great music, great lyrics, freaking awesome vocals, and makes me want to DANCE.
Sam asked me today if something was wrong, it has been the opposite, everything is right. I can feel it.
So anyway, about the lady with the cat in the stroller....what would make someone buy a cat stroller??? and why does a cat need to be 'walked' in a stroller.....just sayin'...
Chevelle ~ The Red ~
They say freak, When you're singled out, The red, well it filters through.
So lay down, the red is real, When his sight goes red again. Seeing red again, Seeing red again.
This change, he won't contain, Slip away, to clear your mind. When asked, who made it show, The truth, he gives in to most.
So lay down, the red is real When his sight goes red again.
So lay down, the red is real When his sight goes red again. So lay down, the red is real When his sight goes red again.
Seeing red again, Seeing red again, Seeing red again, Seeing red again, Seeing red again, Seeing red again, Seeing red again, Seeing red....
They say freak... When you're singled out. The red, it filters through...
This week, I've finally buckled down *giggle* and started writing for a project I am working on with a friend...Wow, ok, now I'm editing my blog, this sucks...for a very good friend. This project is something that has me thinking a lot about the past. It has me remembering a lot of things that I (before) would sooner forget than bring up or even try to deal with. That coupled with going out with Junior High and High School friends and our Reunion coming up...I'm OVERWHELMED with memories...and for once in my life...I love it. I am not hiding from it. I embrace what has made me who I am today. What has gotten me to this point in time that I am at RIGHT NOW. I adore today. I would not change today for the world. I want to share this with everyone ~ how I feel. OMG...how do you explain the years of not being who you were meant to be and 37 years later..poof, there you are?? I am Kerry. I have never been Kerry until today. I've been Ker-Bear...I've been your friend, your cousin, your daughter, your mother, your niece, your grandaughter, your step-mother, your sister-in-law, your wife, your ex-wife, your girlfriend, your lover...but not me. I don't do the things I do because you want me to, I do them because you deserve it, you need it, I want it...Amazing. If life has always been this simple, I wish I had known before...wish I could have been told before. But I don't think that is how it works. You have to find your edge. You have to find your own way. You have to discover what makes you, YOU, and decide whether that is fine enough or NOT. I am fabulously me. OMG am I ever. And you know they love me because of it. The ones that stay, the ones that fight for me and encourage me, and never doubt or destroy me...ADORE me for me. :) My minions.
This project will be the one that will make me scream NO NO I will never forget, NO NO I will never regret...NO NO I will live my LIFE!
Jump on...or you might miss the ride...It is an amazing one....
30 Seconds to Mars ~ Closer to the Edge
I don't remember the moment I tried to forget I lost myself, is it better not said I'm closer to the edge
It was a thousand to one and a million to two Time to go down in flames and I'm taking you Closer to the edge
[Chorus:] No I'm not saying I'm sorry One day maybe we'll meet again No I'm not saying I'm sorry One day maybe we'll meet again No no no no
Can you imagine a time when the truth ran free? The birth of a song, the death of a dream Closer to the edge
This never ending story Paid for with pride and fate We all fall short of glory Lost in our fate
[Chorus]
No no no no I will never forget No no I will never regret No no I will live my life
[Chorus]
Closer to the edge Closer to the edge No no no no Closer to the edge Closer to the edge No no no no Closer to the edge
Boy I think about it every night, and day I’m addicted, want to jump inside your love I wouldn’t want to have it any other, way I’m addicted, and I just can’t get enough
I just can’t get enough [4X] Honey got her sexy on steamin She give the hotness a new meanin Perfection, mami you gleamin Inception, you got a brother dreamin, dreamin Damn baby I’m fiendin I’m tryin to holla at you I’m screamin Let me love you down this evenin
Lovie lovie yeah you know you are my demon
Girl work it for my team an’ I could be the King, you could be the Queen an’ My mind’s dirty and it don’t need cleanin
I love you long time so you know the meanin
Oh baby I can’t come down, so please come help me out You got me feelin high and I can’t step off the cloud And I just can’t get enough
[Chorus]
I just can’t get enough [4X] Honey got me runnin like I’m Flo Jo Signed her name on my heart with an XO Love so sweet got me vexed though I wanna wish it right back like Presto, yes Meantime I wait for the next time She come around for a toast to the best time We LOL back and forth on the text line She got me fishin for her love, I confess I’m.. Somethin ’bout her smile and the convo Got me high and I ain’t comin down yo My heart’s pumpin out louder than electro She got me feelin like {MR. ROBOTO}
Oh baby I can’t come down, so please come help me out You got me feelin high and I can’t step off the cloud And I just can’t get enough
[Chorus]
“This, has been a switchup”
Switchup! [2X] I, just, can’t (switchup) Locked, sunk in your bed-rock Heart, pumpin your love-shot Knocked, out by your cold-shot I’m, stuck in your head-lock (switchup) Can’t-can’t stop-stop won’t-won’t quit-quit Makin me f-f-f-f-f-fiend, give it to me I want it all-all, know what I mean Your love is a dose of ecsta (switchup) Addicted, I can’t get, away from, you Afflicted, I need it, I miss it (switchup) I want your lovin right next to me And I can’t, erase you out of my memory-ory I, just, can’t, (switchup)
Jennifer Lopez On The Floor Lyrics (feat. Pitbull)
[Pitbull] Hey oh ay oh ay Let’s take the whole world on a ride J-LO! ya tu sabe no es mas nada Hey oh ay oh ay Let’s take the whole world on a ride Mr. worldwide Dale get on the floor Dale get on the floor Dale get on the floor Dale get on the floor Dale get on the floor Dale I want the whole world to Get on the floor Dale get on the floor Dale get on the floor Dale get on the floor Darling I want the whole world to Get on the floor
I’m loose And everybody knows I get off the train Baby it’s the truth I’m like inception I play with your brain So I don’t sleep I snooze I don’t play no games so don’t get it confused no Cuz you will lose yeah Now pump it up And back it up like a Tonka truck That badonka donk is like a trunk full of bass on an old school Chevy 7 trail donka truck All I need is some vodka and some chunka coke And watch a chick get donkey konged Baby if you’re ready for things to get heavy I get on the floor and act a fool if you let me dale Don’t believe me just vet me My name ain’t Keath but I see why you Sweat me L.A. Miami New York Say no more get on the floor
[Jennifer Lopez] Dance the night away Live your life and stay out on the floor Dance the night away Grab somebody drink a little more La la la la la la la la la la la la la la Tonight we gon’ be it on the floor La la la la la la la la la la la la la la Tonight we gon’ be it on the floor
I know you gotta clap your hands on the floor And keep on rocking work it up on the floor If you’re a criminal kill it on the floor Steal it quick on the floor On the floor Don’t stop keep it moving put your drinks up It’s getting ill it’s getting sick on the floor We never quit we never rest on the floor If I ain’t rolling I may die on the floor Brazil, Morocco, London to Ibiza Straight to L.A. New York Vegas to Africa
Dance the night away Live your life and stay out on the floor Dance the night away Grab somebody drink a little more La la la la la la la la la la la la la la Tonight we gon’ be it on the floor La la la la la la la la la la la la la la Tonight we gon’ be it on the floor La la la la la la la la la la la la la la Tonight we gon’ be it on the floor La la la la la la la la la la la la la la Tonight we gon’ be it on the floor
Freak it off kick it up Raise the roof wreck the dancehall Rip these walls light it up Make some noise ohhh
Dance the night away Live your life and stay out on the floor Dance the night away Grab somebody drink a little more La la la la la la la la la la la la la la Tonight we gon’ be it on the floor La la la la la la la la la la la la la la Tonight we gon’ be it on the floor La la la la la la la la la la la la la la Tonight we gon’ be it on the floor La la la la la la la la la la la la la la Tonight we gon’ be it on the floor Tonight we gon’ be it on the floor Tonight we gon’ be it on the floor
No matter how many times that you told me you wanted to leave No matter how many breaths that you took, you still couldn't breathe No matter how many nights that you lie wide awake to the sound of the poison rain Where did you go? Where did you go? Where did you go? As days go by, the night's on fire
Tell me would you kill to save a life? Tell me would you kill to prove you're right? Crash, crash, burn, let it all burn This hurricane's chasing us all underground
No matter how many deaths that I die I will never forget No matter how many lives I live, I will never regret There is a fire inside and it started a riot about to explode into flames Where is your god? Where is your god? Where is your god?
Do you really want? Do you really want me? Do you really want me dead? Or alive to torture for my sins?
Do you really want? Do you really want me? Do you really want me dead? Or alive to live the lie?
Tell me would you kill to save a life? Tell me would you kill to prove you're right? Crash, crash, burn, let it all burn This hurricane's chasing us all underground
The promises we made were not enough The prayers that we prayed were like a drug The secrets that we sold were never known The love we had, the love we had, we had to let it go.
Tell me would you kill to save a life? Tell me would you kill to prove you're right? Crash, crash, burn, let it all burn This hurricane's chasing us all underground
Do you really want? Do you really want me? Do you really want me dead? Or alive to torture for my sins?
Do you really want? Do you really want me? Do you really want me dead? Or alive to live the lie?
Some songs, I will take the time to look up what the artists were thinking when they wrote them, what are the meanings to those really effed up lyrics "oh oh here comes the Hammer"...but other times, I just like to put my own meaning in, because when I'm listening, maybe I'm thinking....I screwed up. I could have been a better friend, but communication is a two-way street. I can't always do all the work. So this song is not my apology, it's just - I am who I am. I will not budge anymore, I will be who I am until the end. You can love it or leave it.
I know you love it. So, figure it out. Because I know I have.
Art of Dying ~Die Trying~ I think it’s time for me to go now I’ve done more harm than good If I could change how this turned out, yeah You know that I would Sometimes the weight is more than I can hold But I rather fail than not know
If it takes forever I will die trying If it takes forever I will die trying I will die trying
I wish I knew then what I know now But I’d probably do the same I get the feeling that it’s planned out From the cradle to the grave Sometimes the weight is more than I can hold But I rather fail than never really know
If it takes forever I will die trying If it takes forever I will die trying I will die trying
And I am digging a hole I am taking it all I am digging a hole To bury my soul I am digging
If it takes forever I will die trying
If it takes forever I will die trying If it takes forever I will die trying
If it takes forever I will die trying If it takes forever I will die trying
If it takes forever (forever) I will die trying If it takes forever (forever) I will die trying I will die trying I will die trying
I thought about you a lot today. Being the Assassin, being the Right Hand. I want to fight for you. I want to be the destroyer. I want to reach out and take the interlopers and shake their beings and foundations and make them see what can not be seen. But, having changed my ways....smile...I will remain the sunshine, smile and tell you...this will pass like everything else. The world is not ending. YOUR foundations are not being rocked. You will see your Karma come around to these people...it is too big to mistake. Just have faith in yourself. We have faith in you, even when you fall. And you are not falling. This is just a step, a stumble...
Here is my hug from a distance. 1 week 1 day and I will give you one for real. I lubya my friend.
Not your music...but mine. If you don't want to listen, read for me. Your not falling. I will catch you. We will catch you.
Mudvayne ~ Not Falling ~
Always, known in, all my time, A little left of center now Reflect as I realize, That all I need is to find the middle pillar path to sit like the sun by a star in the sky and just be. Sinners, casting stones at me
I... I stand, not crawling, not falling down I... I bleed the demons that drag me down I... I stand, (for nothing), not crawling, (the center), not falling down (of calms within the eye) I... I'll bleed, (for no one), The demons, (but myself), that pull me down (for me and no one else)
Goodbye, sunshine, I've put it out again, sad I'm over, personalities, conflicting, I don't need you, or anyone, but me, I'll just be, living my own life I feel my glowing center grow, infecting I feel alive Shovel dirt over lime, plant it in myself to sit like a seed under covers of earth and just be Sinners, pointing fingers at me
I... I stand, (for nothing), not crawling, (by myself), not falling down I... I bleed, (for no one), the demons, (but myself), that drag me down I... I stand, (for nothing), not crawling, (the center), not falling down (of calms within the eye) I... I'll bleed, (for no one), the demons, (but myself), that pull me down (for me and no one else)
Come play kill Refuse my body, refuse my shadow Stond cold will Refuse to lead this, refuse to follow Bitter pills Refuse to feed this, refuse to swallow I'm fueled godless
Come play, come play KILL Just be, just be
I... I stand, (for nothing), not crawling, (by myself), not falling down I... I bleed, (for no one), the demons, (but myself), that drag me down I... I stand, (for nothing), not crawling, (the center), not falling down (of calms within the eye) I... I'll bleed, (for no one), the demons, (but myself), that drag me down (for me and no one else)
Every now and then, there is a convergence. A time when all things that you have been working on, your all so thought out and planned, or not so planned actions, come together to a pinacle of amazing focus that you have to stand back and look around and say, 'Wow'.
I totally understand Hannibal from the A-team when he says 'I love it when a plan comes together'. I get it, I really get it.
Disturbed ~Stupify~
Yeah, bringing you another disturbing creation from the mind of one sick animal who can't tell the difference and gets stupified
I've been waiting my whole life for just one fuck And all I needed was just one fuck How can you say that you don't give a fuck I find myself stupified, coming back again All I wanted was just one fuck One tiny little innocent fuck And when I feel like I'm shit out of luck I find myself stupified, coming back again
Why, do you like playing around with My, narrow scope of reality I, can feel it all start slipping I think I'm breaking down
Why, do you like playing around with My, narrow scope of reality I, can feel it all start slipping away See but I don't get it Don't you think maybe we could put it on credit Don't you think it can take control when I don't let it I get stupified It's all the same you say Live with it
But I don't get it Don't you think maybe we could put it on credit Don't you think it can take control when I don't let it I get stupified [x2]
All the people in the left wing rock And all the people in the right wing rock And all the people in the underground rock I find myself stupified, coming back again All the people in the high rise rock And all the people in the projects rock And all la gente in the barrio rock I find myself stupified, coming back again
Why, do you like playing around with My, narrow scope of reality I, can feel it all start slipping I think I'm breaking down
Why, do you like playing around with My, narrow scope of reality I, can feel it all start slipping away See but I don't get it Don't you think maybe we could put it on credit Don't you think it can take control when I don't let it I get stupified It's all the same you say Live with it
But I don't get it Don't you think maybe we could put it on credit Don't you think it can take control when I don't let it I get stupified [x2]
And don't deny me No baby now, don't deny me And darlin' don't be afraid...
But I don't get it Don't you think maybe we could put it on credit Don't you think it can take control when I don't let it I get stupified
Look in my face, step in my soul I begin to stupify. Ah! [x4] Look in my face, step in my soul [x4] Look in my face! [x3] I begin to stupify! Ah!
