Call it what you want, it happens.

Every now and then, there is a convergence. A time when all things that you have been working on, your all so thought out and planned, or not so planned actions, come together to a pinacle of amazing focus that you have to stand back and look around and say, 'Wow'. 


I totally understand Hannibal from the A-team when he says 'I love it when a plan comes together'. I get it, I really get it.    

Disturbed ~Stupify~ 

Yeah, bringing you another disturbing creation
from the mind of one sick animal who can't tell the difference
and gets stupified

I've been waiting my whole life for just one fuck
And all I needed was just one fuck
How can you say that you don't give a fuck
I find myself stupified, coming back again
All I wanted was just one fuck
One tiny little innocent fuck
And when I feel like I'm shit out of luck
I find myself stupified, coming back again

Why, do you like playing around with
My, narrow scope of reality
I, can feel it all start slipping
I think I'm breaking down

Why, do you like playing around with
My, narrow scope of reality
I, can feel it all start slipping away
See but I don't get it
Don't you think maybe we could put it on credit
Don't you think it can take control when I don't let it
I get stupified
It's all the same you say
Live with it

But I don't get it
Don't you think maybe we could put it on credit
Don't you think it can take control when I don't let it
I get stupified [x2]

All the people in the left wing rock
And all the people in the right wing rock
And all the people in the underground rock
I find myself stupified, coming back again
All the people in the high rise rock
And all the people in the projects rock
And all la gente in the barrio rock
I find myself stupified, coming back again

Why, do you like playing around with
My, narrow scope of reality
I, can feel it all start slipping
I think I'm breaking down

Why, do you like playing around with
My, narrow scope of reality
I, can feel it all start slipping away
See but I don't get it
Don't you think maybe we could put it on credit
Don't you think it can take control when I don't let it
I get stupified
It's all the same you say
Live with it

But I don't get it
Don't you think maybe we could put it on credit
Don't you think it can take control when I don't let it
I get stupified [x2]

And don't deny me
No baby now, don't deny me
And darlin' don't be afraid...

But I don't get it
Don't you think maybe we could put it on credit
Don't you think it can take control when I don't let it
I get stupified

Look in my face, step in my soul
I begin to stupify. Ah! [x4]
Look in my face, step in my soul [x4]
Look in my face! [x3]
I begin to stupify! Ah!

Yes, it is en el fuego...or something was...

I find it completely ironic that my last blog was about water and this one is about fire. What does that mean?  I don't have any plans for Earth or Air coming up any time soon...for real. Fire, one of the more feared elements I would think.  Awesomely coveted and harnessed for many uses. I love to look into a burning fire. Listen to it crackle around the wood as it burns. Feel the heat when you sit just close enough to have it caress your skin...amazing. I will tell you, though,  that when your body is on fire it is not at all pleasant...


There are times when I think, have my friends and I always been like this? Has it always been that I'm texting them and they retort with a song or song lyric??? Maybe, perhaps...it is divine. But if you are lucky, when you text your friend that you are currently on fire, one will give you this...not so much a gift - but a darn good memory...of driving in the car...asking, WHAT? Did they just say that? REALLY???? 

Kings of Leon 'Sex On Fire' 

Lay where you're laying, don't make a sound
I know they're watching, they're watching
All the commotion, the kiddie like play
Has people talking, talking

You, your sex is on fire

The dark of the alley, the breaking of day
The head while I'm driving, I'm driving
Soft lips are open, knuckles are pale
Feels like you're dying, you're dying

You, your sex is on fire
Consumed with what's to transpire

Hot as a fever, rattling bones
I could just taste it, taste it
If it's not forever, if it's just tonight
Oh, it's still the greatest, the greatest, the greatest

You, your sex is on fire
And you, your sex is on fire
Consumed with what's to transpire

And you, your sex is on fire
Consumed with what's to transpire

My water finally broke.

I am the listener. The shoulder. The one they call on. Didn't even occur to me that I would need someone eventually. Today my dam finally busted. I had it. God finally had shovelled it on thick with this new development. But what doesn't kill you and all that....apparently makes you go to the Spokane BFF and say WTF????

I will just acknowledge that I must have something profoundly AWESOME waiting for me down the line. I will be understanding. I will wait. I am patient. I have the capacity to know that God has a plan for me and it is always better than I imagine...so, Thanks J. Thanks for tonight, well every night that you want to hear me and I don't talk, because I would rather be the one to help than be the burden. I won't be doing that anymore. Ok, maybe I will, but I will try not to, and that is all that counts.


Nirvana 'Come As You Are'

Come as you are, as you were
As I want you to be
As a friend, as a friend
As an old enemy

Take your time, hurry up
The choice is yours, don't be late
Take a rest as a friend
As an old

Memoria, memoria
Memoria, memoria

Come doused in mud, soaked in bleach
As I want you to be
As a trend, as a friend
As an old

Memoria, memoria
Memoria, memoria

And I swear that I don't have a gun
No I don't have a gun
No I don't have a gun

Memoria, memoria
Memoria, memoria
(No I don't have a gun)

And I swear that I don't have a gun
No I don't have a gun
No I don't have a gun
No I don't have a gun
No I don't have a gun

Memoria, memoria

Sisters of my heart, body, and soul...

This week has been a rough week for many of my friends. It has made me realize how truly blessed I've been to have so many great girl friends (and some great guy friends, DON'T GET ME WRONG, but they just aren't the same, and they won't read this, so I don't need to wax on about how much they do for me, since internet things such as Facebook and Blogs, aren't quite as important as porn and gaming, beer and gambling...) My girl friends are my sisters. They are different in many ways, and the same in many ways. They have all made a room for themselves in my heart. They text me when they need me, they post something on my Facebook when they want to let me know they are thinking of me. When they are sad, lonely, heartbroken...I feel it too.

I'm always here. A phone call, text, Facebook, drive or plane flight away. Hugs and Kisses are free. You may be in New York, Montana, Texas, Washington, Colorado, Florida, or Massachusetts (You suck for making me spell that, by the way, LMAO) but to me - you are always in my heart!

Violent Femmes "Blister in the Sun"

30 Second break.

Today reminded me how short and beautiful life is.
No matter what, I will be by your side. Forever.

30 Seconds to Mars ~ Kings and Queens

Into the night
Desperate and broken
The sound of a fight
Father has spoken.

We were the kings and queens of promise
We were the victims of ourselves
Maybe the children of a lesser god
Between heaven and hell, Heaven and hell.

Into your eyes
Hopeless and taken
We stole our new lives
Through blood an pain
In defense of our dreams
In defense of our dreams

We were the kings and queens of promise
We were the victims of ourselves
Maybe the children of a lesser god
Between heaven and hell, Heaven and hell.

The age of man is over
The darkness comes and all
These lessons that we've learned here
Have only just begun

We were the kings and queens of promise
We were the victims of ourselves
Maybe the children of a lesser god
Between heaven and hell.

We are the kings
We are the queens
We are the kings
We are the queens

Half way there...90% free...

I loved 2010. The past few months have been busy. Spending time with my son and my friends. The holidays were a great time and were the best I've had in years.  It has given me time to reflect on what I've done and how far I've come.  I'm my own worst critic...I give myself the worst advice, I need to listen to my head and heart more together than apart...they are not always in sync... I'm sure like me, sometimes you think you've faultered, that you aren't doing your best. But when you look around at the product of your efforts, at all you've achieved as a whole, you will see that it is a great thing...you will most likely have come farther than you expected and will be proud! So proud! I did some great things this year. I made some excellent choices.  I made some fantastic friends. I've become more me, and I've come a long way in my profession...it was a fantastic year.

La Roux ~ BulletProof

Been there, done that, messed around
I’m having fun don’t put me down,
I’ll never let you sweep me off my feet,
I won’t let you in again, the messages I’ve tried to send,
my informations’ just not going in,
burnin’ bridges shore to shore, I’ll break away from something more,
I’m not to not to love until it’s cheap,
been there, done that, messed around,
I’m having fun don’t put me down,
I’ll never let you sweep me off my feet,

This time baby, I’ll be, Bulletproof
This time baby, I’ll be, Bulletproof

I won’t let you turn around,
and tell me now I’m much too proud,
to walk away from something when it’s dead,
do do do your dirty words come out to play when you are heard,
there’s certain things that should be left unsaid,
tick tick tick tick on the watch and life’s too short for me to stop,
Oh baby, your time is running out,
I won’t let you turn around,
and tell me now I’m much too proud,
All you do is fill me up with doubt,

This time baby I’ll be bulletproof
This time baby I’ll be bulletproof
This time I'll be bulletproof
This time maybe I’ll be bulletproof
This time baby I’ll be bulletproof

I want to hold you...you are just too far away...

So many things seem to be happening at once.  This time, it isn't to me.  I have my small things to sweat. The job. Money. Health...but really, nothing that compares to what my friends, MY FAMILY, are going through.  They are my heroes right now.  Never really asking for much more than an ear. Never really doing more than sharing what is going on in their lives. I am continually amazed at their endurance, their beauty, their strength. I am proud of you.  I am glad to be your friend.  Not each day will be the day you say, COME AND GET ME. Not each day will be the day you say, I'M FINE. Today might be the day you cry, hit, spit, shout...do it...try it out.  I'm always here. I want to hold you...you are just too far away....

I love you mucho.

Switchfoot ~ 'Dare you to Move'


Welcome to the planet
Welcome to existence
Everyone's here
Everyone's here
Everybody's watching you now
Everybody waits for you now
What happens next
What happens next

[Chorus]
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened before

Welcome to the fallout
Welcome to resistance
The tension is here
Tension is here
Between who you are and who you could be
Between how it is and how it should be

[Chorus]

Maybe redemption has stories to tell
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell
Where can you run to escape from yourself?
Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna go?
Salvation is here

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened
Today never happened
Today never happened before